The Love Advantage: How Choosing Love Leads to Victory
What if the secret weapon to overcoming life's toughest battles wasn't what you expected? What if true victory wasn't about winning the argument or getting your own way, but something far more profound? As believers, deep down, we know the answer: love. We've heard it preached, we've read it in scripture – “love covers a multitude of sins” (1 Peter 4:8), and “love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 22:39). Yet, when conflict arises and our desire to be "right" kicks in, the idea of loving our way to triumph can feel like the furthest thing from our minds.
Let’s be real. What do I even mean by "winning"? I'm not talking about fleeting moments of getting what we want. I’m talking about true, lasting victory – overcoming challenges, finding peace, and experiencing real breakthrough. And the often-overlooked secret? It’s loving – loving the way God loves. It might sound simplistic, but what if you started to see "love" and "winning" as two sides of the same coin? It could revolutionize how you face life's battles. To illustrate this, let me take you back to the summer of 2020, a time when escaping felt like the only sane option. Covid lockdowns had amplified the already tight quarters of living in my in-laws' basement for five long years. My wife, Addison, and I, with our one-year-old son, Trent, decided a fifteen-hour car ride to Gulf Shores, Alabama, was the answer – a chance to finally reconnect.
What we hadn't accounted for was how deeply buried some unresolved issues had become during those years of shared living. The drive, meant for laughter, quickly devolved into arguments. She'd say something innocent like, “You don’t tell me I am pretty.” My sharp reply would be, “What does whatever we are doing right now have to do with you being pretty? You are pretty. That's just not at the top of my mind in this moment.” That would be it – the tiny spark. Soon, we’d be bickering about renting bikes: “Should we rent bikes for the week?” “That’s too much money.” Back and forth, escalating over seemingly nothing. Silence would descend, thick and heavy, only to be punctuated by Trent’s cries, leaving me silently fuming about why Addison wasn’t instantly soothing him. I’d escape to the beach, the sand a welcome buffer from the tension. The cycle was brutal: avoidance, forced conversations that turned explosive, repeat. Ten days felt like a lifetime of misery. A bleak thought settled in: Divorce is out. We’re both too stubborn and scared. This is it. A lifetime of unhappiness.
Then, a flicker of desperation. I prayed. "God, get me out of this pit." The answer hit me instantly, a quiet but undeniable knowing: "You are 100% in the wrong." It wasn't what I wanted to hear, but the clarity resonated as truth. I asked for understanding, and what followed was a profound realization: in any conflict, the volume of the reaction or the perceived rightness of an argument didn't negate individual responsibility. I hadn't been walking in love. I saw how one tiny spark of selfishness on my part could ignite a whole explosion of negativity, and I was accountable for my sparks. This experience, though painful, became a stark illustration of how choosing love – even when feeling completely justified in my frustration – was the only path toward true healing and victory in our relationship.
Right then, I made a decision. I never wanted to be in that desolate place again. I set a one-year marker for change. I repented and consciously began to walk in love. My wife, Addison, is incredible, and anyone looking objectively would have seen my faults. My internal shift was immediate, but rebuilding trust after being a self-centered husband took time. I had to constantly remind myself that Addison’s initial reactions might stem from past experiences, and I needed to be patient and understanding.
Thankfully, five years have passed since that turning point. And with each passing day, the gift God gave me in Addison becomes clearer and clearer.
This principle of choosing love, especially when it's hardest, extends to all areas of our lives, particularly in the crucial act of forgiveness. How often do we clutch onto hurt and resentment, thinking it protects us? But who is really being held captive? Is there someone in your life you need to extend this kind of love to today, releasing the burden of unforgiveness for your own freedom?
And the "love advantage" isn't confined to forgiveness. Think about your relationships. What would happen if, in your next disagreement, you intentionally chose to listen with love, seeking to understand rather than to win? How might that shift the dynamic?
Even in our own inner battles, choosing love – that selfless, God-kind of love – can bring a profound victory over anxiety, fear, and self-doubt. When you’re tempted to react in a way that doesn't align with love, can you pause and choose a different path?
The path to this "love advantage" begins with a conscious decision, made moment by moment. It's about asking ourselves in each situation: "What would love do here?" It's a daily practice that, over time, transforms not only our interactions but also our hearts. Just as Jesus, the ultimate embodiment of love, chose love even to the point of death on the cross, we too can choose this powerful path to victory.
Don’t underestimate the power of God’s love. It’s not a passive emotion; it’s an active, dynamic force that breaks down walls, heals deep wounds, and leads you to victory in every area of life. Embrace the God’s love advantage. Choose to love the way God loves, extend forgiveness freely, choose to see others through the compassionate lens of God’s heart, and you will see it transform your life and lead you to the real win.
